Haskell himself, p.28
Haskell Himself, page 28
“It won’t change.”
“Of course, it will. The world always changes. Believe me, being the only woman in a real estate agency in 1950 is very different from being one of many in 1966. When I started out making movies in 1940, everything was very different from the gritty films they make today. The world will change and before you know it, it will adjust to the idea of two men or two women loving each other. I guarantee you, over time, people will learn the power of acceptance. What’s there not to accept?”
I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths, and tried soaking in these words of encouragement.
“Know this for sure—I love you, darling. I’m throwing you a kiss. Throw me one back.”
I made a kissing sound with my lips.
“Oh!” She gave this slight noise, almost as if it were a hiccup. “I can’t believe how late I am. We have reservations at Anton’s, and I hear the Tagliatelle Funghi Porcini e Tartufo is divine.”
Tartufo? I’d have to look that word up.
She hung up. I dropped the phone onto the floor and hugged my knees tighter against my chin. At this moment, I realized how much I missed talking with my mom. It just wasn’t the same thing when I shared stories with my aunt or my uncle. My mom was the real thing, especially when she was fully present, listening with both ears.
What scared me the most was falling in love with someone and keeping him and my feelings to myself. How would I come out and be true to who I am? Would there ever be a time when it would be safe for people like Nate and me to hold hands?
Lots of questions ran through my head. I nearly fell asleep until I heard a knock on the door.
“Haskell Rascal? We’ve been looking all over the house for you. Are you in there?”
I opened the door slightly, and Hope stood pressing her hands against her cheeks, mouth wide open, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.
“What are you doing in the closet, Haskell Rascal? Oh my God. Mom! Dad! Something’s wrong with Haskell. Hurry! He’s on the floor, glaring at me like he’s sick or something.” And with that, my cousin screamed at the top of her lungs, waking me out of my gloomy reverie. I figured I couldn’t sit here all day feeling sorry for myself. I had to face my future, even if it scared the hell out of me.
Acknowledgments
Writing a book is harder than I thought. Every once in a while I wish I had chosen something else to do. But writing a novel is a dream that simply would not go away, and I had a wonderful, loving partner who was always there for me. None of this would have been possible without Gordon. His extensive detailed comments as well as his difficult questions were instrumental in helping shape the book’s direction. I could not have completed this novel without him.
I also want to thank Lorna Partington Walsh for her wry, witty comments and edits on the many early drafts.
In the summer of 2018, I attended The Writer’s Hotel Conference in New York, and I had an inspiring mentor, Sapphire, who truly believed in Haskell and gave me great hope and encouragement. Also, Scott Wolven, and Shanna McNair were instrumental in shaping early versions of the story. I am so appreciative.
Thanks also to my wonderful friends whom I have known since my college days at Rutgers: Linda Roemer, Howard Grimwood, and Joseph Boles. Each of them gave me critical feedback that helped make this book better, as did Shoshanna Brower, fellow trainer and good friend, whose notes on the final version of this book became especially helpful.
I’m not sure if I would have completed this project without the feedback of my weekly writing workshop, 9 Bridges at the Zweet Cafe. Special thanks to the entire group, especially Geneva, Jill, Gobind, Paul, Tish, and Bill.
Thanks to everyone on the Acorn team who helped make this novel come to life. I’m so grateful for Molly Lewis, who did the final edits of this book, as well as the geniuses behind Acorn Publishing—Holly and Jessica. I’m also especially grateful for Debra Kennedy, who formatted and proofread the manuscript.
Finally, I’d like to thank my family for their constant encouragement and support.
Gary Seigel, Haskell Himself
